You Are Good Enough

What message am I sending her? You are good enough!

Best photographer in Arlington TN

Cindy Meisch Summer 2016 captured by M. Meisch

There are so many reasons I haven’t been blogging. I have been photographing. Not overwhelming but enough to be busy for me. I sit here with a To-Do list of blog’s of sessions that need to be written and a couple to edit. From Birthday sessions, Family, an engagement and so much more. I want to scream to everyone “I am still here! I am still working!” But more importantly I am trying to tell my kids especially my daughter “YOU are good enough!” 

I am trying so very hard to learn all that I can. I am soaking up info from some incredible mentors so I can get my Boudoir and Glamour business out of my dreams and into reality. This past week I found myself saying out loud everything I tell my clients and every women I meet not to say.  “I am fat!” “I can’t believe I let myself gain this weight back” “Uhg! I can’t even put these shorts on!” Worse yet I said these things in front of my daughter.

It would be so easy to blame this on Lupus. Because Lupus sucks the energy out of me especially if it is rainy. Going through a little self hate pity party right now where personally things are a struggle and to be perfectly honest I have not been eating 100% healthy and I have gained 30 pounds.  Wine, cheese, bread…. yum!

The last few sessions I was lucky enough to have both my kids “assist” me on the shoots. They are both amazing! I made sure that at the end of one of my sessions we took some pictures of just the three of us.

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Cindy Meisch Photography my family personal post

Every one of us not just me and my family are going through things that make us question “Am I good enough?”  I am not perfect. No One is! But, I am good enough!

To know that my daughter caught me saying bad things about myself crushes me. I do not want her to grow up with the same body issues I had. The ones that made me starve myself to a size 0 in High school. No amount of weight loss is going to take away my stretch marks that remind me I so very wanted these 2 miracle kids and the medical IVF intervention I went through to have them. They are also a reminder that I was once a size 22 and even though those size 2’s are waiting on me to get back into a size 8 is a perfectly fine too.

So that is me. No photoshopping. Before I pointed out the things I think are flaws I showed the pictures to my kids. I made a point to mention that I loved they still take pictures with me. I love that they smile and that smile shows in their eyes. I love how my son hugs me 100 times a day and wanted to put his arm around me during the photograph. As a mom I am not perfect. But, I am good enough. If you follow me on Instagram you know he irons his own clothes, he knows how to make a perfect cup of coffee for me and if I have been sitting at my desk a little too long (or stuck in bed from Lupus) he makes sure that I have eaten or if I need a cup of tea. Does he have a little too much screen time… yes.  But, if I had to choose any boy in the world to be my son I would pick him!

My daughter… as a woman and her Mom I feel more responsible for making sure she first a confident, beautiful, smart and independent young women. That the things we do, we first do for us! Eating healthy, working out when your body agrees, having lunch with your friends, wearing makeup because you love the way it makes your eyes “pop” and not because a boy may like it. As we enter these teenage years I hope she knows that her happiness comes first. If she is doing things to make herself happy that can only radiate towards others.  I hope she knows she will always be good enough for me.

My kids both took pictures of me. I hope they have a little bit to do with my business as it grows. I asked them what they thought. We are working on everything from focus, depth of field, lighting and all the technical stuff. But, I also wanted to know what emotions it made them feel. Neither one of them mentioned my weight gain.

“Look how much you are smiling mom”, “I really love your eyes.”  ” love how we took pictures of us together but separate too.” “we have to print the one when we were laughing because the donkeys were ‘yelling at us'”.

If you stuck with me through these 800+ words of a personal post.  I hope this is a reminder “YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!” before you list all the things you think are your faults please make a conscience effort to first list all the amazing things about yourself. If you think you don’t have any… ask someone who loves you!

Blessings,

Cindy

Comments

  1. Alyssa E says:

    I can so relate to this!! I have struggled for nearly my entire adult life with body image. I am working hard not to get discouraged, but it’s a daily struggle!! You are good enough!! Good read!

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